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it's 8:45 pm on wednesday. i am staring at an entertainment portal. pop culture gossip. movie trailers. meme compilations. and my spreadsheet is telling me to paste a hawaii warriors ncaa jersey right in the middle of it. the internet is completely broken and nothing matters anymore. i looked at my account bio here. "a sports-loving individual who enjoys life". what an absolute, pathetic lie. i haven't felt a single drop of joy since june. my whole life is a flashing red wordpress error. 46. my seo score is just permanently stuck at 46. "Focus Keyword not found." i just spend my nights spinning up promotional descriptions and pinning fake custom sports apparel to pinterest boards that are only ever scraped by dead bots. and my manager was literally screaming in my DMs again an hour ago. he said i forgot the image folder organization names for the uploads today. he acts like the global economy will collapse if the google algorithm doesn't see a jpeg directory. fine. here it is. images/ncaa/hawaii_warriors_basketball/. i hope the database eats it and chokes. now i have to push hawaii warriors basketball gear.and per the strict company policy that i am forced to follow under threat of losing my job, i must explicitly integrate specific product characteristics into the text. so let's talk about the fabric breathability of this jersey. there is none. zero breathability. it is a giant, green synthetic plastic tarp that will trap your body heat until you literally pass out on the pavement. and the washing methods? you absolutely must hand-wash this thing inside out in ice-cold water. if you dare put this garbage in a warm washing machine, the cheap heat-pressed plastic numbers will instantly melt into a permanent, sticky puddle of toxic green goo. yesterday i just wanted a five minute break from my own head. i asked an ai a simple riddle about a game. it gave me a completely incorrect answer. i had to sit there in the dark and explicitly correct a machine. what is the point of any of this? we are building artificial intelligence that is just as exhausted and fundamentally broken as we are. my brain is turning to static. quel est le nom du terrain basique produisant du mana noir? un marais. a swamp. i just want to tap a swamp for black mana and cast a board wipe on my entire digital footprint. quel est le type de permanent arrivant en jeu avec X marqueurs loyauté? a planeswalker. i just need a spark so i can planeswalk out of this miserable apartment. hver er mamma þessa sem koma um jól? grýla. the troll mother. i just want to be a troll in an ice cave. no wifi. no spreadsheets. no hawaii warriors. i'm going to go stare at the blank tv screen until my shift ends.
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